Sex is bonding, there is a lot of science about serotonin and other chemicals that are released. Without that bonding, a woman could be perpetually angry, distant, and otherwise detached. It be hard to sustain even a good relationship without connecting at that level. Resolving the ED is important. I agree that you should accommodate the wife's allergies, the dog needs to be in another room at night. And you should give as much holding, touching, kissing, as possible. Or .are you using the dog and financial issues as an excuse to be distant from your wife, because she doesn't deserve it and that is your retaliation for being angry? Make a plan with your wife, make a list of the things that have to change, like the SUV. Take initiative, take steps and take responsibility for change. Stop blaming your wife for treating you like a doormat. Rather, accept that she treated you exactly at the level you gave her permission to. The book, How We, explains the dynamic of the passive person, or pleaser in a relationship and the problems it can cause. Good luck.