So, the thread from Boston reminded me My friend (since grad school) has just introduced me to her newly out coworker. Freshly broken-hearted from his in-the-closet relationship, she suspects her coworker was dumped because he was Naughty woman ready sex married woman for sex inexperienced (not out/newly out). So she brings him to me, and I'm supposed to "show him the ropes." What on earth am I supposed to "teach" this boy? Queer History? Stonewall? Drag families of the DC metro area? How to wear leather at the? Hankie codes? What do you do with a newbie? How should we be supporting the development of youth/people coming out? Or do you just stand back and watch? Stay uninvolved and let them figure it out? Just wondering if anyone has an opinion

Perhaps you are missing the point. Every once in a while we meet people who actually give the green light to use them. It comes in a lot of forms, this guy is demonstrating one of them. I somewhat recently had a person want to be FWB but then she admitted to having hopes for more. Very similar situations ..both say they want something that's just not happening and are willing to be used to keep some alive. Hell, I've even done it myself and I've had lots of friends do it near the death of their marriages ..look below on a post by OOOOHHH the wife is most likely being set up for the fall but is choosing to on. The fact that you would continue to use this person IF he wasn't so creepy does relate to how selfish you are being. You KNOW you don't want more but you're fine with the mixed signal (just because you tell a person continued acceptance sends the message they are still in the game) cause its giving you something you want. That's your end of this mess. That shit is wrong.