That's just the emotional reaction because as someone who's been through this and knows a lot of other people who have too I think it's bullshit. AND I used to say the same kind of shit. That chip on my shoulder that it wasn't going to happen to me because I'm going to be a better person than that. Are there some people who are that selfish yes, absolutely, people come in all shapes and sizes and people can become more selfish at certain periods in thier lives. Depression, stress, tragedy people become self absorbed during those periods. There's no real intent when people disconnect, they're not trying to disassociate from their marriage. I think most aren't even trying to say 'what's in it for me'. I know it's projection based on my own experiences but when I sit and talk to others it carries a common thread. You know what my thoughts were when I was screwing the pooch? I have work today, I need to make sure the insurance is paid up, the yard needs work and I need to help out with laundry then tack on something that felt like it came out of left field, the stressors that happen in life and the next thing you know there's a disconnect that you never recover from. A common tale and the disconnect spawns much of the behavior we all judge so harshly. People forget to be present building a future. I find it kinda sad really, I'd never trade my life for what I've learned but I sure others don't have to.