timing and chemistry. The couple with whom you had uncomfortable threesomes couples wants flirt were either not the couple for you, or it wasn't the right time for you with that couple. The couple with whom you had an enjoyable threesome were either the right couple for you, and/or it was the right time for you to be in that situation. The guy who thought you couldn't be happy with him because he wasn't a woman would have probably felt the same way if he WAS a woman by mistakenly thinking you couldn't be happy with her because she wasn't a. That person mistook your bisexuality as a need for both at the same time. If someone misunderstands your desires and acts on those incorrect assumptions, then they (individually at that time) are not the right person for you. If someone misunderstands your desires and asks you to clarify their incorrect assumptions, then they (individually at that time) be just the right person for you. If either of those things happen among you and more than one person, then you could very well be "cut out" for a polyship. You want to know how to approach finding what you want now in terms of a meaningful LTR? BE the kind of person you want to be with, and you'll attract those people to you. While you're working to BE the best partner you can be for yourself, then you'll start to figure out exactly what traits are beneficial and that's what you'll be looking out for in others.