I don't mean this to be flip, I am Meet sexy women in Ho ho kus New Jersey honestly REALLY curious. I believe I remember you bringing up your in your childhood. If memory serves, it was your mother that and your father abandoned (I could be totally wrong here so bear with me) I remember you mentioning that in posts because I too came from an extremely abusive childhood. For me, I think I would have, given my childhood, snapped physiy had I married someone with a disorder that manifested often as abusive lashing out. The HINT that someone might get physical was enough for me to red and react. As a teenager, I got into a lot of physical fights because of this. It took me years in therapy before I could let go of the rage. My point is how on earth did you manage to stay 20 years? Why did it take her filing to leave and celebrate? How did you manage to overlook from a woman that was scratching some very old and deep wounds?