Guys were out on the town chasing mastodons and shit and then they discovered masterbation once we evolved arms enough while women still struggled to make a rock vibrate sitting around the cave waiting for an earthquake when needing to swinger want sex roll some beautiful bean just didn't cut it. Now that a smart woman invented the sex toy we men are threatened about how replaceable we are so we're out on the town chasing porn stars and the computer has made self gratification a national pasttime. It's all due to evolution once our arms were enough, us men decided we were all good and didn't need to anymore while women have always wanted more. Oh and before you get too um 'cocky' about all that remember you're one step away from the presidency and once you gain control you too could devolve to our level rapidly. We've been doing this for millions of years you've only had since the '60's.

A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration. 'What troubles you, Sister?' asked Lonely lady searching porno orgy Mandan the Mother Superior.. 'I thought this was the day you spent with your family.' 'It was,' sighed the Sister. ' And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ.' 'I seem to re that,' the Mother Superior agreed. 'So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?' 'Far from it,' snorted the Sister. 'In fact, I even took the Lord's name in vain today!' 'Goodness, Sister!' gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. 'You must tell me all about it!' 'Well, we were on the fifth tee and this hole is a monster, Mother Superior yard Par 5, with a nasty dog leg left and a hidden green .and I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest swing I ever made. And it's flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted and it hits a bird in mid-flight !' 'Oh my!' commiserated the Mother. 'How unfortunate! But surely that didn't make you blaspheme, Sister!' 'No, that wasn't it,' admitted Sister. 'While I was still trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!' 'Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!' sympathized the Mother. 'But I didn't, Mother!' sobbed the Sister. ' And I was so proud of myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my ball still clutched in his paws!' 'So that's when you cursed,' said the Mother with a knowing smile. 'Nope, that wasn't it either,' cried the Sister, anguished, 'because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup!' Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said 'You missed the fuckin' putt, didn't you?