to paint a picture: i work in a business casual married seeking fuck office, where people are friendly, down to hearth, funny, often times a little nutty. they are rather conservative, maybe not narrow minded but conventional. the youth however, are liberal, easy going, and even go out together. but they are still conventional. there are very few attractive women at work. perhaps just one. no one knows i'm nor should they, and they ask "do you have a boyfriend" at first opportunity, i seldom go to bars, my girlfriend is in different city so, sometimes i forget that i kiss girls. this important but private part of me has actually become a small part of my day to day life. it didn't bother me until recently, or i thought it wouldnt, but so far the way it annoys me is an inexplicit, vague unease. i can only attribute the frustration to not being able to interact with the same sex the way straight people do with the opposite sex. in other words, the dynamic between opposite sexes, interplay of varying degrees of attraction, and all the nuances of being around people I more then my friends, are all nonexistent. it actually weirds me out. i try check out the one girl who is attractive (great body, snappy dresser, her pants MUST be tailored) and it weirds me out. like i shouldn't be doing so, or in that setting, the external environment influences me internally and heavily enough to think it's wrong. in reality, this results in the girl and i having weird chemistry. i check her out but it's always a little off. i started to check her out and then make a weird face, a reaction to my mental processes, unintentially directed at her. i think she knows. she must know. girls just know these things. today she wore a less professional but hotter than usual outfit and i wanted to say to her, "i haven't had sex, much less kissed a girl, in over a month. you are the ONLY attractive female here. and everyone knows. i'm not blind. are you trying to make my head explode?!" ok getting off topic here .