I think most of ya are 1uppers, cuz the minute I post, y'all to 1up me with bitchy banter. What guarantees the success of a marriage? Is it physical attraction, fidelity, trust, humor and mutual respect? On the other hand, are there behaviors or personality traits that can predict the failure of a marriage? Dr. Gottman, author of “Why Marriages Succeed or Fail,” has done plenty of research in this area and his findings suggest that there are indeed some personality traits that can doom a marriage to failure. Coupled with my own research and experience with couples’ therapy, here are the personality traits that might signal possible roadblocks on the path to martial bliss. Does one of these personalities sound like you? The Pleaser The Pleaser puts “we” before “me,” and has a “what’s mine is yours” philosophy with her spouse. The Pleaser does not need much alone time or privacy, and is happy spending plenty of quality time with her spouse. Pleasers often like to play by the rules — rules which or not be applicable at all times in a relationship. For instance, a Pleaser might strongly adhere to gender roles or certain routines, and be unwilling to think outside the box or try new things within the relationship. However, marriage and family life do not always follow a set routine, and Pleasers might have a hard time adjusting to these changes. Furthermore, her motto of “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” can lead to staleness within the marriage … but it also means that she is a dependable and loyal partner. The One-Upper The One-Upper is so named because she always takes an argument to the next level. Instead of trying to empathize with her partner’s point of view, she skips right to the “persuasion” stage, where she tries to convince her partner that she is right. One-Uppers rarely argue without becoming very impassioned. However, it is possible for One-Uppers to resolve conflicts, since they are open about their feelings, both positive and negative. They also tend to be analytical and honest (if sometimes brutally so), which can help keep the relationship moving forward. But watch out: One-Uppers do get stuck in conflict mode, which can lead to constant fighting.