to help you much in this case. Plenty of people who try non-monogamy end up hot wife want nsa splitting up, but it doesn't mean it was the fault of non-monogamy any more then monogamy is at fault for the numerous monogamous couples splitting. You made a choice that you would rather give up a sizable portion of security/safety/comfort/self in exchange for not parting ways with this person. Naturally, you are now feeling lost. But to blame non-monogamy for this is a sure way to not learn from your conscious actions by projecting the blame elsewhere. Sounds like he was being honest and up front with where he saw himself and his desires, and you made a decision to explore that. How you get over it depend on how honest you can be with yourself. As a related aside, my wife and I just recently participated in our first 3 way with another woman. My wife and I have been openly discussing and researching polyamory and open relationship dynamics for years, and an opportunity came up with a close acquaintance to explore it. It was a fantastic experience for everyone involved and has enlivened a whole new level of our relationship that just isn't possible with monogamy. For me I find the added dynamic to be enthralling, as I look forward to exploring feelings and sensations that I had yet to experience. I enjoy the challenge ad enlightenment that comes from exploring new situations that bring up feelings so that I work through them, as opposed to avoiding situations in order to skirt possible feelings. But non-monogamy is not exactly an easy or carefree dynamic. Going into non-monogamy in order to fix a relationship is a sure way to fail at it. I like to look at it as not adding someone to an existing relationship, but forming a new relationship, as even your relationship to your existing partner is now (sometimes) totally different.

You didn't touch you didn't interact on a date there was no living breathing person. It was a fictional game he played on you. Move on get a life away from the computer. There is a whole world out there waiting for you to explore it. Where people, real people talk and laugh and argue and kiss and hug and dine and work. Get out there and live.