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Tweet What I clearly, both in top post and elsewhere, is reticence, sweet wives want sex fear of being assertive, the belief that discussion and expressing desires is the equivalent of being pushy. We don't know what the OP's boyfriend is like but it's highly possible he's as prone to avoiding potentially difficult topics as she is. She chose an INDIRECT way to test her partner's commitment. It's a terrible way go about getting crucial info because it DOES lead to misunderstandings. We don't know the context. We don't know if her partner realized it was a test. We don't know if he assumed her plans include him. Above all, we don't know whether these two have a history of avoiding relationship issues, in which case his response is simply an extension of their avoidant communication style. All we really know is that the OP is too risk averse to tell her boyfriend she wants to. Again, she equates being clear about what she wants with pushing. And though she states elsewhere that her partner would do anything for her, in her mind taking a stand on her perfectly reasonable and understandable to is the equivalent of holding a gun to the boyfriend's head. It isn't. It's taking a stand on what matters to you, and being honest and confident enough to state your position. I think the OP's exactly right to want marriage just mixed up about how to go about it. Marriage or not, if these two continue to be a couple I think she and her boyfriend should replace the concept of rent with the concept of her contributing to household expenses. But mostly I think she needs to get clear about the fact that wanting something and discussing something is different from DEMANDING something.