After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my Adult want casual sex Durhamville wife is like most women she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Dear Mrs. Woolf, Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Woolf, are listed below and are "documented by our video surveillance cameras": 1. 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking. 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5- minute intervals. 3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom. 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted in management getting involved causing management to lose time and costing the company money. 5. 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of chips. 6. 14: Moved a 'CAUTION WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty obliged. 8. 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' Emergency Medics were ed. 9. 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose. 10. 10: While handling guns in the Sports department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were. 11. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme. 12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his '- look' by using different sizes of funnels. 13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'