but sounds like you set this up. You probably didn't mean to, but when you confide in someone and tell all the bad you are feeling -well they are not going to mellow like you have with time. You painted the picture you wanted to paint of your ex. What did you expect for your husband to think of the so ed "jerk" of your words. Also sounds like you traded one "toxic" relationship for another one. Your present husband is not ready for a relationship with a step. Your responsiblity is to your daugther. Think how she feels that now she is the "reason" you and your second husband aren't getting along. Doesn't matter if you try to keep her out of it. know when things aren't right. And believe me- no matter what you tell her- -she have a feeling deep inside that she is part of the blame. You, your current husband and ex need to get your act together for the sake of your daugther. And it needs to be done ASAP. don't force your daugther to be the only grown up in the group. Maybe you should give full custoty to your ex? At least then your daugther would not feel like a pawn.