It seems, usually the feeling n thoughts are there but usually kept within, due to the normal pressures. But eventually, the person take small steps to live out a particular thought. Most likely getting a BJ. Then after awhile you return the favor. But u feel something is wrong. You must let go of the constant thoughts and go for the actual experience. If you decide to do it by meeting strangers to make it more discrete, be cautious. Best thing to do is find a bi-married guy who is looking for same thing. Being married he be safer.