You offer some great food for thought. Being aware of the variety of situations and what sort of disclosure might be appropriate is an important thing to keep in mind. This is not a one-size fits all issue. A conditional type of loaded question like: If you are happy and proud of us/me then you should be okay with everyone knowing I think is simplistic and unfair. I know that's not the way you phrased it, but I feel like that is an undertone that I need to be careful to avoid So I wouldn't put it like that But it does make me think about the aspects of her relationship with a bisexual that she does value and appreciate. Discussing those things with her could help her in seeing that others the good things in our marriage, and hence have a positive take on our relationship. This would probably help ease her fears that others her as being taken advantage of or otherwise making forced or unwanted "sacrifices" in our marriage. Truth is she loves and appreciates me for who and how I am. Just this morning, as I was giving her some requested input about her wardrobe for the day and suggesting that wearing a yellow jacket with gold accessories not be the best combination, and that a simple necklace with the top she was wearing would work best, she commented that I really should have an honorary membership, because she doesn't know any straight that could give decent clothing/style feedback to a woman There are other times, methinks, where she appreciates my rather unusual perspective on things Tough manly guy that loves women (and one in particular!), but still "gets it". It's like she gets a best friend with benefits! Thank you for your good advice about and understanding. That is what I'm trying hard to practice But it is validating that it sounds like you understand the importance of being honest about who I am with as people as possible. Given time, I'm sure we'll work this out as we've worked out other challenges of our unusual but very loving and intimate marriage. Thank you for taking time to respond.