Obviously, you are having trouble agreeing on this topic. There is no "norm" on how finances are handled in a family, because it varies from family lonely searching nsa to family. In some, both contribute to the expenses. In others, the wife uses the money she makes is for her own expenses. In yet others, the wife is a SAHM and makes no money, but runs the home and organizes the family. Whatever is best for your family is the "norm." If you and she are having a hard time communicating on this topic, then consider going to financial counseling together. I usually recommend couples to consider going thru the Ramsey 13-week financial planning course, to get both couples on the same financially. It sounds a little like you have financial goals in mind that you're saying, "This is what we should do," but she hasn't bought into them, yet. I don't know if your goals are reasonable or not but you both need to be working together.